1. |
30 Years Dumb
03:23
|
|
||
|
Maybe this is all I’m supposed to be
A bald lazy piece of shit full of wannabes
I wanna be dead sometimes but today I’m feeling free of me
I wanna be walking in the sun with my shades on smiling
Just so happens I still dream about you all the time
When it comes to you, I wish I had a spotless mind
Clementine, oh my darling oh I’m sorry it got left behind
Rain or shine, chasing something and it’s nothing that I’ll ever find
In you
Signed up for online dating
And it drives me fucking crazy
I don’t need anyone
To tell me that I’m just no fun
And that when they’re with me they can never cum
Oh I’m so fucked
Thirty years dumb, burning through my good luck
Feeling better since I quit smoking cigarettes
Wasted money and some time whatever no regrets
Well except then instead I got addicted to the Nicorette
Now I’m just replacing something with another till there’s nothing left
To lose
I feel so weird lately
All my time is spent trying not to go crazy
I don’t need anyone
To tell me that I’m just no fun
And that when they’re with me they can never cum
Oh I’m so fucked
Thirty years dumb, burning through my good luck
|
||||
2. |
|
|||
|
I know that I’m getting old
And I’m trying to convey these thoughts because they never stop
Inside this room there’s always one to talk
For god's sake pick up the phone
Cause I’m worried and I’m scared, I just wanna know you’re ok
Wouldn’t have it any other way
I’m flying home
Don’t wanna be here anymore
Don’t wanna be here anymore
Don’t wanna be here
I know you wish that I told the truth
But I never do, everything I say is a lie
Like I’m so happy just to be alive
Never gone from you
We go years without a word
Years without a single thing to say
But you linger in my head all day
I’m going home
Don’t wanna be here anymore
Don’t wanna be here anymore
Don’t wanna be here
And I wanna stay out of touch
Hoping to find something else in my mind
Something else in my mind
As soon as I got in the car
And started to drive I just wanted to cry yea I wanted to cry
I’m going home
Don’t wanna be here anymore
Don’t wanna be here anymore
Don’t wanna be here
|
||||
3. |
Never Change
03:26
|
|
||
|
Always thinking about you
While the day passes by
They start off green but then turn blue
In the dead of the night
And a dream is just a dream I know
When you wake the next day
But the feelings I felt for you
Never change, never change
It’s going over my head
When you say I’ll be ok
But that’s so sweet, you’re always lookin out for me
Never change, never change
When I turn on the tv
I can feel my brain die
And die it does slowly
When you live in a lie
I can talk to my cat
I can see how much I weigh
But the one thing that I can’t do is
Ever change ever change
Waking up and fucking up
It’s all in a day
So I turn on the tv
Never change, never change
Climbing up a mountain in my mazy mind
That I dug deep in the ground
When you look me in the eyes, my ego goes to die
No, it doesn’t like to be found
It’s the same every day
A few years ago I saw you
We were sitting in the square
Catching up before our fall through
You could’ve been anywhere
I said I’m so happy to see you
Cause I missed you so bad
And the letter still held true
After all the years passed
You gave me a strange look
I’ve never seen you make
And I realized it was amiss
Cause we’ve changed, we’ve changed
|
||||
4. |
|
|||
|
You are not the same
Don’t even have the same name
When you’re walkin down the street
How does it feel?
I can’t imagine what it feels like to be so fake so real
Oh I am amazed
Can’t even look you in the eyes
Oh my what a surprise
Your eyes are all I see
They’re always looking to the right, staring at somebody beside me
By the time you hear this song, I’d have sworn off New York City
You got your love I got my valentine
I’ll stay a secret till I change my mind
Started a fire and I watched it die
Now I think about you all the time
Wake up every morning live my day to daydream
I am ashamed
Of all the things I said to you
When we were sitting in the park
You know I meant it too
Now it’s gotten dark the swan is sinking in the bayou
I found joy but she was occupied
From five to nine and from nine to five
Tried to talk but got no reply
Now she’s chillin with a friend of mine
Wake up every morning live my day to day dream
|
||||
5. |
All in My Head
03:22
|
|
||
|
Crossing the double line
Going straight for the sun
Her hair is in my eyes
She says “ain’t this so much fun?”
It’s dark and it’s overcast
But you can still see the moon
Peaking through the clouds
Yeah I’m looking at you
All in my head
Yea it’s all in my head
For reasons I can’t explain
I’m feeling alive
Out on the ledge again
If I die then I die
Champagne and cigarettes
Lipstick on the glass
You were gone now you’re here
And the past is in the past
All in my head
Yea it’s all in my head
|
||||
6. |
Only Gonna Hurt You
05:13
|
|
||
|
Remember laying in the closet
On the phone talking quiet
3 in the morning on a school night
That’s how we used to roll every night
Isn’t it crazy how things change
Goes by so fast where are all the days
Some are so clear but others are a haze
The older I get the more details fade
Like that one time
We were at that party
Remember? We were in the bathroom together
I think you wanted me to kiss you
But I didn’t
I was so nervous I was so young
I really liked you I was just dumb
I didn’t know anything not a clue
But I learned the hard way that afternoon
Then something happened in the driveway
What the fuck happened in that driveway?
I just remember standing face to face
Staring at you while my heart raced
Hey bee I’d never wanna hurt you darling
I only wanna lift you up see
I’m always gonna love you maybe
I’m always gonna want you to hold me
How can I stop I don’t know how to
Powerful whatever you do
Magic fuckin spell or voodoo
Genie, make my one wish come true
Now I know it’s all in my head
I make something real from pretend
Blending what I know with fiction
Killing myself living in this
I’d never wanna hurt you
I’m always gonna love you
I never wanna love you
I’m only gonna hurt you
|
||||
7. |
|
|||
|
I stood alone inside my thoughts
Couldn’t think of anything I wanted so I took it all
Threw it in the fire and I watched
Walked away from all I’d given up
I know life it isn’t fair
Just walking out my door I see it everywhere
Am I the cause to someone’s pain?
Maybe I just should’ve stayed
But giving up’s my favorite thing
They’re all getting married, having kids
I’m writing this silly song from my studio apartment
I got no plans, no ambition
Exactly how I like to live
Thought by now that I would change
I feel the same as I did when I was seventeen
But there is a difference in my face
I wish I just could’ve stayed
But giving up’s my favorite thing
Oh living on the brink
It’s ripping my heart out
It’s running in place
Oh secrets that I keep
Just to have a promise
I can choose to break
Sometimes I just gotta breathe
In and out, a flash of doubt can ruin everything
Sometimes I just gotta sing
But giving up’s my favorite thing
|
||||
8. |
Car Alarm
03:35
|
|
||
|
Hey, hey
Guess I gotta go away now
Look at all the mess I’ve made
I didn’t mean to scare you off so soon
I get lost in everything I ever say
I didn’t mean to say it that way
Or maybe it just wasn’t meant for you
Now we’re a long, long way from heaven
Way from sunny afternoons
Took a shot shot shot in the dark
Missed and triggered the car alarm
Hey, hey
You can tell me off all day
But it doesn’t matter either way
I’m living in a constant fear of you
I’m in a lockdown
Wasting all my numbered days
Now always feeling just ok
How likely is it that we’ll see it through
Now we’re a long, long way from heaven
Way from sunny afternoons
But it’s joke to think we’d be the
Perfect couple
Its far from true
Took a shot, shot, shot in the dark
Missed and triggered the car alarm
I declined your wedding invitation
Made a joke said “I’ll be at the next one”
You didn’t think it was funny
It’s a long game I’m always playing
This song 30 years in the making
If you lost count, you can call me
Took a shot, shot, shot in the dark
Missed and triggered the car alarm
Now we’re a long, long way from heaven
Way from sunny afternoons
But it’s joke to think we’d be the
Perfect couple
Its far from true
Took a shot, shot, shot in the dark
Missed and triggered the car alarm
|
||||
9. |
You Got Your Love
01:47
|
|
||
|
Oh my minds always changing
Do I stay or go?
Do I have free will?
Running from the light
Cause it’s always shining
Hiding under covers cause it hurts
Oh my minds always racing
Crashing cars on fire
Tangled in the wire
Everywhere I go
Everyone I talk to
Every single second in the day
You got your love
|
||||
10. |
Take It Out on Me
02:48
|
|
||
|
Sunday morning breakfast
Sitting in our bed
Cereal and toast
In silence
You got up to take a piss
You came back and said
“I’m so sick of all your shit”
Oh no
I love it when you take it out on me
And I know it’s really easy
After a night spent drinking
Sometimes I know I can be mean
Under the guise of a nice guy
Who pretends that he’s never trying
But I know what makes you tick
I wonder what you’re doing now
Sitting on the couch
Talking shit about
Whoever's around
If you call I won’t answer
But I’ll be glad you did
I’ll think about that time
I took the hit
Oh no
I loved it when you took it out on me
And I know that it was easy
After a week of silence
How come we could never agree
It’s a shame but not really
I wanted to say I’m sorry
For being a dick sometimes
|
||||
11. |
Blinds
02:08
|
|
||
|
Never thought I’d see you again
I was supposed to go
Don’t know where, but I do know when
Marked it on a calendar back home
Sometimes shit gets crazy I know
But open up your blinds and let it in baby don’t go
Could’ve sworn I saw you before
Running to your terminal
I grabbed my bag, and I followed you
But it turns out you were not you at all
Sometimes I go crazy you know
But open up your blinds and let it in baby don’t go
|
||||
12. |
Long Vacation
03:34
|
|
||
|
I am a whirlwind of complication
Sweating it out on a long vacation
Riding the waves of the conversation
Taking it hard but at least I’m taking it
I haven’t wanted to stay in a long time
She makes me feel like I’m losing the daylight
Smothers my face with the pillow I pretend to die
Never so good at leaving the past all behind
Alright
I’m taking notes from the looking glass
I see myself in myself in a stupid mask
I watch my face move a split second after I do
I’ve lost my appetite, but I’ll take one more bite
I’m short stacked, but I wanna play
To run amok, not give a fuck what other people say
I can’t believe all the shit that I put into myself
To only feel alright but I never get it right
One time a guy pointed a gun at me
Give me your wallet and your phone, give me everything
I looked him straight in the face and I told him to kill me
He walked away
I’m the most self hating person you know
But I’ll fight anybody here, how’s that for ego
Yea I’m the worst but I’m the best it just depends on the day
Today I’m ok
I’m ok
It’s just me
I’m ok
|
||||
13. |
|
|||
|
If you think I’m a homewrecker
I think you’re wrong
But I did just buy a sledgehammer
And ruin my own
Up to bat, I’m a hard hitter
When I’m in the zone
If you think I’m a homewrecker
I ruined my own
But if you think I’m a go-getter
I think you’re right
Went and got something to feel better
Then I’m outta sight
Hit the highway like a roadrunner
Fluttering by
If you think I’m a go-getter
I think you’re right
Bitter after failure
Getting so old
Got the devil on my shoulder cracking the code
And it’s fake it till you make it
Even though you never will
But as long as you can know it
It’ll make failure an easy pill
All this making music
Is it even worth the time?
Really who will listen?
Spend 3k to make a cent on Spotify
But here I am now cause I got the ache
Bending over backwards, I’m gonna break
But if you think I’m a push over
You got me all wrong
I swear I tripped and I fell over
All on my own
Yea I threw myself a haymaker
Shook up my bones
If you think I’m a push over
You got me all wrong
Satisfy my hunger
By picking a fight
I know that I’m pathetic
But I’m also right
Cause I fake it till I make it
Even though I never will
I’m just here to show it
Swallowed every single little pill
And all this making music
It’s my way of feeling alright
It’s cool if no one listens
I’m used to playing to an empty room all night
So here I am now cause I got the ache
Bending over backwards, I’m gonna break
Always thought you were a shit talker
Was right all along
Said you liked my songs way better
When he sang them wrong
Why aren’t you guys on swoon records?
It’s where you belong
Oh your band’s got 30 songs?
Here’s thirty-one
Oh your band’s got 30 songs?
Here’s thirty-one
It’s all in bad fun
|
||||
If you like Jacob John, you may also like:
The Woman You Want
by Eliza Shaddad
Haddad returns with cinematic soundscapes that include introspective folk, post-grunge, and indie-pop influences.
go to album
The Convincer (20th Anniversary Edition)
by Nick Lowe
Released in 2001, “The Convincer” is a gentle gem in the Nick Lowe catalog; an anniversary edition provides opportunity for rediscovery.
go to album
Erudite chamber pop that hearkens back to the elegant and experimental production of the 1960s, swinging from melancholia to playfulness.
go to album
London-based Sudanese/Scottish singer songwriter makes tense, assured pop songs, colored with a dab of folk.
go to album
Get groovy with the new one from Orions Belte, an album bursting with lithe basslines and hooky melodies.
go to album
I Want The Door To Open
by Lala Lala
On her latest record, Lillie West considers the way the self is constructed.
go to album
Norman Blake of Teenage Fanclub produced this lush and hooky collection of pop songs.
go to album
